The Impostor Syndrome

I'm a fake. They made a mistake hiring me, and they'll fire me when they figure it out.

It's called "the impostor syndrome," and it's all about low self-esteem and not being able to internalize -- believe -- our successes while being all too willing to accept our failures.

This syndrome is common among bright women, especially gifted women who find themselves pushed to the head of the class, admitted to the best schools, hired to important positions. A feeling of panic can well up, a sense of dread, a paralyzing fear of "Oh my god, what have they done?" It's often possible to "fake it" for years. The dread never leaves, the fear of not being good enough is always there, but the work is usually done anyway. (And, ironically, it's usually brilliant work, but that's because we're lucky, or it's a fluke.)

It's time to get over it. A woman named Dr. Valerie Young has these tips to overcoming the syndrome on her site The Impostor Syndrome. There is a lot of information there on what the syndrome is, too.

Here are her ideas, in a nutshell. Read the full descriptions on her site:

1. Break the silence. We don't need to be ashamed of feeling this way. Many of us do.
   
2. Separate feelings from fact. Sometimes we all feel stupid, but just because we feel that way doesn't mean we are.
   
3. Recognize when you might tend to feel fraudulent. If you're one of the first or few women in your field it would be natural to feel like you don't fit in. Take your self-doubt for what it is: A normal response to being an outsider.
   
4. Accentuate the positive. We excel, in part, because we seek perfection. The trick is to stop obsessing. Do a good job when it matters most; forgive yourself when mistakes happen -- they will happen.
   
5. Develop a new response to failure and mistake making. Instead of beating yourself up for making a perfectly human mistake, see if you can learn from it and move on.
   
6. Right the rules. If you’ve been operating under misguided rules like, “I should always know the answer,” or “Never ask for help,” start asserting your rights. You have just as much right as the next person to be wrong, have an off-day, or ask for assistance.
   
7. Develop a new script. When you start something new, instead of automatically telling yourself, “Wait till they find out I have no idea what I’m doing,” try thinking, “Everyone who starts something new feels off-base in the beginning. I may not know all the answers but I’m smart enough to find them out.”
   
8. Visualize success. Do what professional athletes do. Spend time beforehand picturing yourself making a successful presentation or calmly posing your question in class. It sure beats picturing impending disaster and will help with performance-related stress.
   
9. Reward yourself. Break the cycle of continually seeking ­ and then dismissing ­ validation outside of yourself by learning to pat yourself on the back.
   
10. Fake it ‘til you make it. Now and then we all have to fly by the seat of our pants. Instead of considering “winging it” as proof of your ineptness learn to do what many high achievers do and view it as a skill. Courage comes from taking risks. Change your behavior first and allow your confidence to build.

I like that last one the best. It's one of my greatest weaknesses, err, skills.