Do you think I'm scary?

I always kind of laugh nervously when I find out someone thinks I'm scary.

I mean when I'm not acting scary. Like when I'm just being who I am. Or when I'm not conscientiously trying to be someone who I'm not. Something like that.

Not when I'm shrieking.

I asked a trusted friend about this yesterday -- am I bizarre? I get these looks from people sometimes, as if I'm over the top. Oh, I know what it reminds me of ... that song, "Something To Talk About" by Bonnie Raitt.

The part where it says "Laugh just a little too loud, stand just a little too close." I feel like maybe I'm doing that now and again. I wonder if people want to, oh, back off a little.

My friend said absolutely not. I'm not bizarre. I talk normally. I am smart, quick, have a great vocabulary and love to use it. I love to talk and love the repartee. Oh yeah, and I'm powerful. I know what he means by that, but am uncomfortable about it. I am just powerful. In person, in email, on the phone. In my blog? You'll have to tell me. I know about this, and I can use it to my advantage in business. I can run right over people who get in my way.

I try not to do this in my personal life. You would see me roll over and hide my eyes at a PTA meeting, for example, if someone criticized me -- I wouldn't be fighting back. (Unless it was about one of my kids -- I stand up VERY WELL for anyone else in the world, especially those who can't ...)

I don't want to be scary. Bizarre. Would I trade powerful for powerlessness if it took away these effects, too? Probably not.

What my friend told me -- which is absolutely true -- is that I need to find more people like him, people who like me as I am, scariness, intelligence, powerfulness, silliness, sadness and all.

Boy is he right.