That poor dreamy girl

I think Effie had huge abandonment issues, and I think she was very, very hurt. I'm not sure she had all the other symptoms that would make her have a borderline personality disorder, but can you imagine her hurt? She was betrayed by a man she thought loved her. Her talents were shunted aside, a woman she loved like a sister pushed ahead of her. Again and again.

When she sang that song ... "And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going" ... my heart broke. There is someone I want to love me. Someone I absolutely positively cannot live without, someone who can easily live without me after our nearly 15 year relationship and three kids. I am stunned by that still, though I know in one place that I need to accept his decision that he is not coming home. I still want him home. That song says it all for me.

It hurts too much.

Here is a small part of the song:

And I am telling you
I'm not going,
Even though the rough times are showing.
There's just no way,
There's no way.
We're part of the same place.
We're part of the same time.
We both share the same blood.
We both have the same mind.
And time and time we have so much to share,
No, no, no,
No, no, no,
I'm not wakin' up tomorrow mornin'
And findin' that there's nobody there.