I can't seem to get out of this feeling that I'm slogging through life. I can't force myself to do anything, even things I theoretically love to do. It feels like I'm underwater most of the time and I don't know what to do.
I don't know where to turn for help -- I'm seeing a psychiatrist about medication, but it seems this is a long, slow process that doesn't have any real relief. I'm struggling most with the depression, not borderline personality disorder, but the anxiety overlay of all of this makes it really hard on a day to day basis. I'm on disability leave from work but don't think I have the wherewithal to go back, to do a good job, to even want to work at all. I have to work, of course, and am suffering financially from being off. I just don't know how to be better. I desperately want to feel better, but every single thing I do is a struggle -- every task is like a mountain I need to climb and the thought of it is just exhausting. Even the thought of getting through a day.
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